Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
