I wannas sexs uuuuu
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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