if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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