Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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