my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
