clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
