This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
