just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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