Im at strip club and am horny
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
