i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
