You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
operation have a gay friend backfired
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i came on her dog
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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