From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need moral support for this bender
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am one with the molecules
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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