Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
