or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
