You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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