$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
