I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
