How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
