You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
