I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
