Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
