I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
