Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
