Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
