There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
