Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize