my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
