Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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