hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
