woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
