You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When are your genitals available?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
