you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
