All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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