I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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