Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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