Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
