I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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