How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
