i jhust puked up my retainher.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
