I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
