i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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