Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
