This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize