My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
