...so i touched it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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