You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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