im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize