Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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