fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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