I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
