if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize