Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
