dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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