Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
