hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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