I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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