New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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