Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I CAN MOONWALK!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think i got beer on your cat.
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