Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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