She said her name was "party"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
