I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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