p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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