thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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